Hard ass

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Today I realized that I believe I have become some what of a "hard ass". What I have decided to describe "hard ass" is; me being blunt, to the point, direct, and saying it how it is. 

I used to just sugar coat things, or not voice my opinion. Mostly, I wouldn't voice my opinion when it was necessary. I am unsure where this came from. If it came from going to counseling or becoming a nurse. 

I was alway worried about what people might think if I stood up for whomever, or whatever I was thinking. Anyway, I have started to do it more. And on top of that, I am proud to say that I truly feel I have a grasp on what truly impacts people. For example: how other people say things to other people. I have a friend who is like me in the sense of dating guys, been through the ringer for no reason, etc. We have a mutual friend who bless her soul is a wonderful human being and wants the best for us, and knows damn well what we deserve. Anyway, this one friend told us she was interested in this one dude, but he's kind of a douche and this other friend reacted not ideal. (in my perspective). I pulled the other friend aside and explained to her that I knew where she was coming from and explained that these two other friends just know her worth and know how much she deserves and don't want to see her hurt. Later, I explained to the other girls how their reactions came across. I've been in that situation and it used to really impact me in a negative way, would truly effect me and not seem supportive because of the way and tone they state their comments. They were actually grateful that I brought it up to them. 

I believe that because I have been emotionally weak and therefore words would really have this impact on me -- now that I've changed and have become stronger I can see how it impacts others when others do it to people. It allows me to step in. It also allows me to be honest when something impacts me still. 

This comes into play with just about any aspect of life. If I think a friend, my mom, stepdad, brother, aunt, uncle, coworker, stranger, etc is being rude, out of line, or not thinking right. Whether this is related to me or not. But if it's going to impact them significantly I'm going to voice my opinion. I don't do it in a rude way, but I definitely try to get people to see other peoples story/view. Or how it might impact the other person. 

It helps my patients too. When they aren't feeling good, and they need something the doctor isn't providing I am their advocate and I will stand up for them. Without a problem. It has probably forced me stand up to "higher ups". 

I feel like this blog post was definitely mumble jumble, but maybe I'll have to come and edit it at some point. I just am having a hard time expressing this one, or describing it accorately. 

xoxo

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