The New Year
As the new year has started...today. I have of course seen many facebook/instagram posts about goals for the future or reflecting on the last year. Sometimes I enjoy reading them..and sometimes I just think "Oh brother" and roll my eyes, is it necessary? But as I think (and reflect), I think it is important to acknowledge what we've been through and the struggles we have gotten through. Along with the things to be grateful and thankful for.
2018 was a good year! My life is all in place. I have a house, a good job, wonderful friends and family. In the early part of the year, we (as a family -- Mom, Mike, my brother and his wife, my stepsiblings and their significant others) all went to Memphis. What an experience that was. Live music, Graceland, Beale Street, a huge pyramid, and a million pounds of pulled pork.
In September my stepdad, Mike, decided he should drive an old (like 90+ year old) motorcycle across the country, the Motorcycle Cannonball Endurance Run. That took us from Portland, Maine, to Portland, Oregon. And if you are reading this, you've seen the posts. So you know how many beautiful things I saw, and how much fun I had. It was a trip of a life time, that I was able to experience with my mom, stepdad, aunt and uncle. Plus, I met a ton of terrific people along the way.
I attended a lot of concerts, played volleyball, did house projects, enjoyed Minnesota, but most importantly I spent time with my friends and family. I did the things that I love and enjoy doing. I really had a kickass year.
I can paint a pretty picture and tell you that it was the "best year ever". It wasn't. I continue to struggle with my weight. I continue to struggle with my migraines, which I started doing relaxing and meditation along with some yoga for. I had family and friends who lost loved ones, which effect me significantly. I had some friends struggle with relationships and family issues that I would want to be there for them for. Family and family members of friends with health issues. And really the biggest thing that effects me I think, is still the dating life.
Every year I am all for the next year, "this year is going to be completely different and life changing!" No bitch, it's not. It's same shit, different year. Now don't get me wrong, I love my life, like I've said, I really do have it all, besides my "soul mate" or "special someone" and truly who doesn't want that? Don't tell me that I'm concentrating on it too much, because honestly, I'm really not. But I've just got that damn good of a life, that thats all that is really missing. Sorry-- not sorry.
This year I've decided to go into the New Year, not expecting much to change. I've been let down and disappointed by "men" over and over, that I have sadly lost hope in them. Part of me is just overly excited to have those butterflies and have that special someone to build something special with, but then reality hits hard and I am reminded about the continued disappointment. Whether it's the lack of connection, effort or the disconnect the man is to his emotions, it's always something. And it continues to be a stab over and over.
Just because I'm not expecting much to change, I still plan to have a killer year. I'm going to continue working on my headaches/migraines, working on being more healthy, and continue to do the things I enjoy. What is life if you don't do the things you enjoy? My stepdad also decided that I should apply to ride a motorcycle in the next Motorcycle Cannonball Endurance Run in 2020. That being said, if get into the Cannonball, I will be driving motorcycles and getting comfortable on the bike I would be riding.
Lastly, I want to be the best me. I want the people that are reading this, the people I am friends with, and my family to know how much a truly care for each and every one of them. I want to be that friend that people can count on. That friend that people confide in and trust. I want to go in not judging others. I sometimes have a hard time, and judge people, (I am getting better), but sometimes hold on too much. But, knowing that I don't need to be 'best friends' with everyone either. I just want to be a kind person, and that person that if someone heard something negative about me, wouldn't believe it because "it's not me'. I struggle because I want to be a good person and someone that gets along with others, but I am still proud and continue to want to be the person that says it how it is and is blunt. So clearly I am open to suggestions. I also might just throw my hands up. Ha. But I also know that you can only do the best that you can.
I do hope that 2019 is good to all my family and friends.
xoxo
breezy
2018 was a good year! My life is all in place. I have a house, a good job, wonderful friends and family. In the early part of the year, we (as a family -- Mom, Mike, my brother and his wife, my stepsiblings and their significant others) all went to Memphis. What an experience that was. Live music, Graceland, Beale Street, a huge pyramid, and a million pounds of pulled pork.
In September my stepdad, Mike, decided he should drive an old (like 90+ year old) motorcycle across the country, the Motorcycle Cannonball Endurance Run. That took us from Portland, Maine, to Portland, Oregon. And if you are reading this, you've seen the posts. So you know how many beautiful things I saw, and how much fun I had. It was a trip of a life time, that I was able to experience with my mom, stepdad, aunt and uncle. Plus, I met a ton of terrific people along the way.
I attended a lot of concerts, played volleyball, did house projects, enjoyed Minnesota, but most importantly I spent time with my friends and family. I did the things that I love and enjoy doing. I really had a kickass year.
I can paint a pretty picture and tell you that it was the "best year ever". It wasn't. I continue to struggle with my weight. I continue to struggle with my migraines, which I started doing relaxing and meditation along with some yoga for. I had family and friends who lost loved ones, which effect me significantly. I had some friends struggle with relationships and family issues that I would want to be there for them for. Family and family members of friends with health issues. And really the biggest thing that effects me I think, is still the dating life.
Every year I am all for the next year, "this year is going to be completely different and life changing!" No bitch, it's not. It's same shit, different year. Now don't get me wrong, I love my life, like I've said, I really do have it all, besides my "soul mate" or "special someone" and truly who doesn't want that? Don't tell me that I'm concentrating on it too much, because honestly, I'm really not. But I've just got that damn good of a life, that thats all that is really missing. Sorry-- not sorry.
This year I've decided to go into the New Year, not expecting much to change. I've been let down and disappointed by "men" over and over, that I have sadly lost hope in them. Part of me is just overly excited to have those butterflies and have that special someone to build something special with, but then reality hits hard and I am reminded about the continued disappointment. Whether it's the lack of connection, effort or the disconnect the man is to his emotions, it's always something. And it continues to be a stab over and over.
Just because I'm not expecting much to change, I still plan to have a killer year. I'm going to continue working on my headaches/migraines, working on being more healthy, and continue to do the things I enjoy. What is life if you don't do the things you enjoy? My stepdad also decided that I should apply to ride a motorcycle in the next Motorcycle Cannonball Endurance Run in 2020. That being said, if get into the Cannonball, I will be driving motorcycles and getting comfortable on the bike I would be riding.
Lastly, I want to be the best me. I want the people that are reading this, the people I am friends with, and my family to know how much a truly care for each and every one of them. I want to be that friend that people can count on. That friend that people confide in and trust. I want to go in not judging others. I sometimes have a hard time, and judge people, (I am getting better), but sometimes hold on too much. But, knowing that I don't need to be 'best friends' with everyone either. I just want to be a kind person, and that person that if someone heard something negative about me, wouldn't believe it because "it's not me'. I struggle because I want to be a good person and someone that gets along with others, but I am still proud and continue to want to be the person that says it how it is and is blunt. So clearly I am open to suggestions. I also might just throw my hands up. Ha. But I also know that you can only do the best that you can.
I do hope that 2019 is good to all my family and friends.
xoxo
breezy
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