Shits & Giggles

As I was getting ready for my day of work today, mind you it was 5:00 pm, I was listening to Christmas music. And it popped into my head how the first year after my dad died I couldn't listen to Christmas music. It was the hardest thing for me. It reminded me of him, it made me sad, it literally tore my heart out. It felt like someone had stabbed my heart out.  I remember specifically I was so excited to listen to Christmas music (because if you know me, I am ALL ABOUT IT). I started playing it in the living room and as soon as I did I sat against the wall and bawled my eyes out. Almost to the point of hyperventilating. I texted my mom and was just like how am I going to do this? I couldn't remember what she said, or what I even said after all of that, I just remember thinking - will Christmas music forever be ruined?  My dad was found dead on December 17th and his funeral was December 26th. It was right around the holidays, obviously. That being said, that ...

Women are fierce! I was at the bar tonight. Some gentleman wanted to get by me to the bar and there was literally nowhere to go, I was back to back with the woman closest to the bar, and he’s like I work here, I want to get a beer (he doesn’t work there for the record). I said no (I would just be pushed out of the way blah blah blah. He then went to call me a bitch. I usually don’t say much when it comes to this, but I’ve decided that I shouldn’t put up with that. I wasn’t being a bitch. I said something like “excuse me?” And blah blah blah. He also said “if you weren’t a woman I’d have you laid out on the ground” I laughed because even though I am female I probably could have taken him. But the point of “women are fierce” is that some woman that I don’t know who over heard got feisty and mad and up in his face and I ended up telling her that it wasn’t worth it. She didn’t know me but she knew he had disrespected me, even though maybe not super significantly, she had my back and was fi...

I am single. I have been for awhile. Now that's not to say I haven't had boyfriend and haven't been dating guys here and there, but nothing really sticks. I am a hopeless romantic. I want to be loved and love someone with all of my heart and vis versa. That seems like the best thing I could ever ask for. But so far, that just hasn't been in the cards for me.  I love my family, and I love every one of my friends and people I run into here and there. I KNOW from the bottom of my heart that people who ask if I've met anyone, or if there is someone special in my life, are genuinely curious and with good intentions. I believe they truly want me to find that love that they have found -- and trust me I want to find it too. However, (and I know this is a personal issue within myself) I feel I let people down every time I tell them that no, there is no one...still.  I have tried online dating, from dating apps to paying for online dating sites that have the reputation to...

Jazzy will open up my drawers to climb in and down to the next one to sleep. If there is a drawer in my room and it is open — she most likely opened it. Proof below  Don’t mind the mess, “decluttering”. And laziness because there is some mess too. Anyway, don’t judge me. And don’t judge me for taking a pic of my cats butt. And yes that’s her favorite drawer, my bra drawer, to go down one to sleep on my socks. #weirdo 

Well this is the type of the day I am having...  I went to the charge nurse meeting. I got on the elevator with other charge nurses to go up to the floors. We get to floor 6 I’m on floor 7, and before you know it I was headed to the ground floor. I totally forgot to press the button for 7. So I rode the elevator from 2nd floor to 6th floor down to ground floor all the way back up to 7th floor.🙄 oh brother! #onlyme

I believe that there are things that you would just be like... that would only happen to me, or when someone tells you a story, that would only happen to them.  That being said let me tell you a few things that have happened that you would say "that would only happen to Brianna".  One weird thing: Jazzy (my cat), whenever she is laying on me, regardless of if my armpits are "open to the air" or not, Jazzy will lick my deodorant. It is SOOOOOO weird. She loves it. Any females out there will know that deodorant will get on your bra or shirts, whatever, she will also lick it off of those. She's nuts. But hilarious.  I was at my friends place, just hanging out. A regular night minding my own business. May have been sipping on some cocktails. But by no means were we crazy. I just happen to be going into the fridge to grab something, and the handle BREAKS. It literally comes half way off! I sit there looking it, stunned, for what feels like 3 minutes, which was pr...

Yesterday I attended one of my roommates from college wedding. I've known Krysten for probably 8 or so years. We went through a lot as we lived in that townhome. Breakups, boy drama, roommate drama, school drama, personal stuff, you name it. But, here we are 8 years later, and we still keep in touch.  This wedding was just beautiful. The man she married, Eric, is literally the perfect man. There honestly couldn't be a better man in general, or a better man made for Krysten. As I was sitting at their wedding waiting for the ceremony to start I just thought about how gentle of souls they are. They are full of life. Enjoy the little things and fully embrace each other for who they are and strive to be the best they can be.  Beyond that, they lost a family member a week before the wedding. Had I been in their shoes, I don't know if I could have gone through with the wedding. I'm not saying I wouldn't have wanted to marry my significant other, but just not having my ...

One thing I don't share easily, or really to just anyone, is that I went to counseling for about three years during nursing school and after. The part about going to counseling isn't the part that makes it challenging to share, but the reasons why I thought I needed to go to counseling. Talking about this and opening it up will make me extremely vulnerable to anyone who reads this, however, if it helps someone struggling like I did, feel like I do now after counseling, then my vulnerability is well worth it.  It wasn't an easy choice to decide that I needed to go to counseling. It was a lot of heartache, depression and extreme anxiety. However, on top of that, I had a good cousin tell me it's not normal, and a good friend pretty much tell me - I think you have issues, I think you need to talk to a counselor, you may even have 'fear of abandonment'.  So back up, what kind of issues did I have? First of all, the kinds of 'men' or boys I dates were not ...